Holding a Grudge

At the last count I hold about twenty seven grudges. Some of them are minor infractions of the ‘how dare they?’ variety, some of them are a lot bigger and some of them, let’s be honest, should no longer be on the list. But I’m happy to say that I’m in very good company.

’Tis the season for scary costumes but be careful if you’re wearing a creepy mask in the presence of a crow. These smart birds will not forgive you. A few years ago a zoologist in America learned that crows can recognise individual human faces, especially those they associate with bad experiences. (Same crow, same). But he also started to realise that the birds shared this new knowledge of dangerous humans with other crows.

John Marzluff and his research team at the University of Washington trapped, banded, and released eight American crows at different sites near Seattle. Before trapping the birds, the researchers donned different rubber masks (a caveman face, for example) and watched the reactions. While the birds were caged, nearby crows circled the site and sounded alarm calls, and when the masks were seen months later, the scolding continued.

Over a year later, John still couldn’t leave his office without being yelled at and pushed around by one particularly annoyed crow, even when he didn’t wear his mask. Families and fledglings and friends of the crow joined in, having decided they did not like this human. The grudge had begun.

Members of the Corvus family are funny and wise and smart. There’s something clever about holding a grudge – it keeps us on our toes, helps us to look out for bad behaviour and therefore stay safe. But it’s detrimental too.  Bitterness, like a poison, seeps. Psychologists suggest that rather than trying to focus only on forgiveness, we can find self-compassion, the very thing that was probably lacking at the time. If we can smooth the way to some kind of peace with what has happened, our minds and bodies will surely benefit. 

So far, so humanly interesting. But the crows in this Seattle experiment were right to scold – the researchers were dangerous. So keep hold of that grudge, clever crows, it’ll stand you in good stead for the future.