As I write I’m attempting to recover from a flu bug. Not the most fun start to the year. But it seems that I’m not alone with so many absences from workplaces and illness at every door (still). It’s wearying isn’t it? So I’m glad I attended a brilliant online gathering with the equally brilliant Mel Wiggins just before Christmas. (ALL of Mel’s stuff is fantastic, check it out here). Entitled ‘Honour the Year’ we women entrepreneurs were encouraged to look back on what we’d achieved and give ourselves a pat on the back. We all realised that we can do that for others more readily than for ourselves (and not just because our arms don’t bend that way).
So here’s my Gratitude Collage for 2021. Do one for yourself and take a step back and say well done me!
A reading of John O’Donohue’s wonderful poem to end this year of years. Reckon we all need some of this wisdom as we look back on 2021. Wishing you all a Happy New Year x
More haste, less speed. Good things come to those who wait. Patience is a virtue. Some days I float around with a halo over my head, serenely putting up with delays and problems with an affable shake of the head. But other days I can feel frustration build and build over the tiniest things (a bluetooth speaker that won’t connect, for instance).
What’s going on? I heard a story a while back about someone who was struggling with anxiety. He asked his mentor for coping tips and the (slow) reply came: “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
I love this. But I hate it too. It’s so hard to accomplish – especially in December when the flurry of Christmas shopping, Christmas events, Christmas stress just won’t let up. I’ll throw clothes into the washing machine while trying to feed the cats while listening to a work podcast and unsurprisingly my brain will just shut down. It’s had enough.
Happy Advent
But I repeat the phrase pretty much every day, the word ‘ruthless’ is particularly appropriate. Be strict with your self-care regime. Say no if something feels wrong. Chop the dinner ingredients slowly and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of mindfulness will creep into your daily activities. Breathe out. Look around. It’s amazing what slowing down can do. And it brings patience in its wake.
Advent is the perfect time to sit and wait. Looking ahead with hope as the twinkly lights and candles brighten the dark nights. It’s delayed gratification in action. After all, what’s the rush?
It was National Poetry Day this week. Twitter was awash with gorgeous poems – the sheer volume of sentences and stanzas was a bit overwhelming. Because sometimes it’s just one word that hits home. A word to finish a stream of thought that tightens the throat and stops the breath.
Words have power. I don’t understand the alchemy of it but it’s magical. So without further ado here’s the poem that never fails – never – to stop me in my tracks.
The Committee Weighs In
by Andrea Cohen
I tell my mother
I've won the Nobel Prize.
Again? she says. Which
discipline this time?
It's a little game
we play: I pretend
I'm somebody, she
pretends she isn't dead.
For Empathy Day on 10th June I made a short video for NI Libraries that (spoiler alert) discovered how reading fiction can help us learn this amazing skill.
Incredible to think that when we say “I feel your pain” we might just be telling the truth. Neuroscience has shown that pain response areas light up in our brains when we see someone else suffer. This is probably why we flinch if we’re innocently holding up a picture for someone to attach to the wall and then catch sight of that inevitable thump of hammer onto thumb. It’s not your thumb but for a small moment it feels like it. And a general rule of thumb (see what I did there?) in this scenario is that the victim is the only one allowed to swear profusely.
Empathy is a marvellous thing and surely offers great hope for the future of our social species. I hereby promise to walk in other shoes and reserve judgements. Happy Empathy Day everyone.
