Having spent some time in the company of Mary Oliver last week on the topic of ‘worry’ I couldn’t help but notice that the word is all around. I saw a Twitter post recently that said: “Women are now in charge. No worries if not!”
Unsurprisingly it quickly went viral. It’s funny, of course, but it also manages to say something incredibly deep about what’s going on with that phrase. Women in particular are fond of it, as we seek to minimise requests and thereby take up less space in the world. It turns up at the bottom of emails, on social invitations, even in close relationships. It trips off the tongue (and page) so easily that I have to make a concerted effort to avoid it. And, whisper it, there’s internalised misogyny in there too: men who ask for something are confident; women are annoying.
So. Are you inviting someone for coffee? Sending an email with a new work idea? There’s no need for those little words at the end. You’re worth spending time with and you’ve got good ideas that are worth sharing.